Witty Peter Doop
Peter Doop was thinking about Harriet Ball again. Harriet was a down to earth banker with greasy eyelashes and pretty eyebrows.
Peter walked over to the window and reflected on his dull surroundings. He had always loved wild Truro with its breakable, black beaches. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel relaxed.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a down to earth figure of Harriet Ball.
Peter gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a witty, cowardly, wine drinker with slimy eyelashes and fat eyebrows. His friends saw him as a cruel, clumsy cop. Once, he had even helped a colorful owl cross the road.
But not even a witty person who had once helped a colorful owl cross the road, was prepared for what Harriet had in store today.
The rain hammered like gyrating koalas, making Peter stressed. Peter grabbed a minuscule record that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.
As Peter stepped outside and Harriet came closer, he could see the vacant glint in her eye.
"I am here because I want equality," Harriet bellowed, in an intelligent tone. She slammed her fist against Peter's chest, with the force of 1492 donkeys. "I frigging hate you, Peter Doop."
Peter looked back, even more stressed and still fingering the minuscule record. "Harriet, I shrunk the kids," he replied.
They looked at each other with sparkly feelings, like two gorgeous, grim gerbils boating at a very understanding rave, which had orchestral music playing in the background and two delightful uncles jogging to the beat.
Suddenly, Harriet lunged forward and tried to punch Peter in the face. Quickly, Peter grabbed the minuscule record and brought it down on Harriet's skull.
Harriet's greasy eyelashes trembled and her pretty eyebrows wobbled. She looked delighted, her body raw like a teeny, terrible teapot.
Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Harriet Ball was dead.
Peter Doop went back inside and made himself a nice glass of wine.
THE END
